I'm on a boat motherfucker!

Well, actually I'm not. But I was. On Saturday night. Cruising down the thames on a boat full of women like a massive pimp. Except no gangsta gold and I'm white. Hell yeah.

Resisting the urge to text EVERYONE I KNOW was actually pretty hard, but I was kept busy with the conversation of a few cool people (and a couple not so cool, ahahahaha, noone will ever know who I'm talking about).

Anyway, so, Saturday, kind of work related Christmas party, so it was off to London on an (almost) all expenses paid trip to go bowling and then on a boat party. Bowling was pretty good, even though I am shoddily bad like a little girl with a limp. I'm not even joking, I reckon at least one girl there was using heavier balls. I didn't do too badly (by my standards) with a score of 87, sneaking into first place after my last ball only to be pipped at the post by someone who had caught up to the leaders unannounced. Damn. Women. Gah. I let her off though :$

The second game got under way, which I started with a strike. I pretty much gave up after that, and the cute girls playing next to us left so I wasn't needing to impress anyone else...

Then the boat party. DJed by mr charisma, a pudgy old guy in knock off designer clothing that looked like the guy on the right here from The League of Gentlemen:

The food was predictably terrible, but the company was good, and I was given an award for being the best company intern this year (best of two, shhhh). One of my workmates then proceeded to have sexual thoughts about a poodle on one of the 3d playing cards I got given. Dirty fecker.

So, on a completely empty stomach I went through the day and night and joined the late people up to a bar/club place along broadway. Bar Sia. If you get to go, don't. It wasn't very good at all. I did get a high five for wearing a pac-man hoodie though. Anyway, ages of sitting waiting for people later put me in a pretty grouchy mood, so on getting home I went straight to bed without saying night. Unfortunately not enough sleep meant I was grouchy in the morning too, where I just ate loads of bacon and sausage and had to be shown how to use this weird toasting machine. Srsly, like, weirdest self toasting machine I've ever seen, some kind of conveyor belt mechanism? wtf. Right? I know. Yeah. Totally. Anyway, we then walked form the hotel we stayed at to the next hotel where the work guys had a meeting thing to give, but since I'm not a real employee or relevant to that meeting, I decided to leave and save myself 4 hours of sitting on my bum. I got home and did nothing for the rest of Sunday though. Sigh.

Today! I ditched out of the office (I seem to like ditching) and bought my secret santa for the office, but I can't say what it is in case the person reads this and finds out. Suffice to say, £5 limit in some really rubbish bric-a-brac shop is not very much. Though I might go back and buy a hip flask for 5 pounds like my hero Harry. You don't need to know anything about him other than that he is very cool.

I am listening to Avenged Sevenfold. I think I will go to buy chicken nuggets and chips. Yum yum.

Big shout to my third subscriber. You know who you are :D


Peace out homeys.

Aiite

Saturday night and I'm watching Speed 2 cos I am oh so cool. After the rather incident free first two blog posts, I actually have something to talk about today xD

Friday: we (me and the guys I work with, aye) knocked off work early, and headed up to London for a 5-a-side football match against the guys from the advertising team that works with Acumen (that's the company that I work for). We miss our first train, because work was just too important to a couple of them, and get a text from our bonus player saying the place might be closed due to a power failure ¬.¬ but we go along anyway, and we get there eventually and after lacing up and getting on my Chelsea shirt, we got onto the astro-turfy stuff. As is the case with these things, it started off with everyone doing lots of running and nothing else. Finally the first goal came and it was scored by... me xD Best goal of the game, ithangyew ithangyew. Scored a hattrick overall and was commended as the best goal keeper, only conceding two and one of those was an own goal after making a save and the ball hitting a team-mate in the face.

ANYWAY.

Into the pub after the match, and this is one of those weird pubs that doesn't do normal brand drinks. So I end up drinking this stuff called "Oranjeboom", which was actually really fricking good. We saw some of the World Cup draw (cue big cheers for ALGERIA) and I was told off for being immature and basically being unsporting. I was like "woteva, luv, I was being ironic". I mean; I don't deny that I am competitive by nature, but I'm not a complete dickhead. Anyway, it's not like I'll ever see this woman again so stfu.

Today I did absolutely nothing. No jokes. Actually I went and bought some Ribena. I think that's pretty exciting. So yeah. That's what I've done for the last two days. This is going to be the highlight of my week. Next weekend there will much more to be done, so expect some more nonsense stuff during the week.

Yeah baby.

(Also, yay followers, I feel loved. Accepted. This is undoubtedly the best day of my life ever. [This is irony.])

Day 2

Day 2. I'm now 2 days plus my 21 odd years old. In fact, let's say that day one was the start of my life. I'm now two days old. Except I'm born fully grown so no nappies and poop and whining and learning to walk and talk and shit.

Actually. There was a program on BBC 1 a couple of weeks back about language acquisition that was really interesting. Basically it concluded that language in humans is an inherent ability, regardless of how much language you are exposed to when you're young and stuff. And that children can learn quicker than adults. Though they didn't say why. Well, w/e, I'm determined to learn a new language or two and it's only a matter of time before I start.

I was actually wearing shorts and a t shirt earlier even though it's WINTER. My usual undoor trousers were in the wash. I'm in jeans now even though wearing jeans in the house is gay because they are uncomfortable. But at least I'm slightly warmer. What have I done today that might interest you? Nadda. But, cos I'm so cool you'll still read this. If anyone at all gives a shit. Which they probably don't. :(

I can't be bothered to write anymore, I am still getting used to "Blogging". Blog ahoy! Land ahoy! Arrrr me hearties. Etc.

This is da first installlllllment like

Aite. Day 1 of the blog. Cos I'm 21 years old and I cba to work out how many days I have been alive. It'd be like the Truman Show. Only better. Which is effort. I don't like effort.

Oh man, I wish my mum would stop texting me.

Anyway. Fascinating life stories aside, if you don't know who I am then you won't be reading this right now. Or you shouldn't be. Or you should, but why would you? Or something.

Don't ask where the Jonah Ramone thing came from, it's just who I am on the internet. Actually I wish I could start facebook again to give myself that as my page name thing. Alas. Anyway, yeah, if you come across a Jonah Ramone anywhere, that's me. Check my last.fm cos my music can only be described as orgasmic.

So today, I got up really early. And I skipped breakfast to get to work on time, AS I DO. You know, it sort of has to be done and they're forcing me to come in 15 minutes earlier than before so, I kinda have to get out of bed. Which is harsh, cos I basically don't sleep til like 3 am and I never get more than 4 hours in one night. Light sleeper. Sigh. BLAH BLAH. Work is not interesting. It's pretty simple. It's the experience I need, having had a total of ZERO real jobs in my entire life before I graduated and sitting on the dole is not fun.

Who knows what I'll do next? Postgrad or jobs, I really don't know. No doubt in the coming weeks I'mma bitch about finance and courses and jobs and stuff.

I bought another new cd on my way home. omg I'm TERRIBLE. 11 CD's I've bought in the last two months and I don't even earn very much. And I should be saving for Christmas and a highly exciting trip to HAMBURG in January. I've never been abroad so I am excited :$.

I dunno how much I'm supposed to write for this so I will stop now. Peace out. As if anyone will actually read this first post...